moving and worrying

for the past year and a half we've been living in my in-laws' home, and we've decided that it's time to move on.  now that it's pretty much feb, we've had to speed up the search.  going through it all has made me a bit fearful of having to go through buying a home.  it just gnaws at the nerves to find places a bit too late or finagle just how much we're willing to pay.  

we're looking for places in the nearby vicinity of my school for multiple reasons--easy access to needed freeways, much shorter commutes for both of us (i'm hoping that i'll be able to walk), and fondness for the town itself.  it has a small-town/community feel that is really rare in socal.  although our schools may not be top notch, i'm thankful to be part of a small district that takes care of me.

in the last month, though, our little town has been rocked by five gang-related shooting incidents that have left three people dead and two injured--four of the victims have been young people in their teens.  when i read about the most recent one in my email this morning, i was heart-sickened.  it occurred merely blocks away from the street where i drive every morning, where our preschool and administrative offices are, and where many of our students walk.  i have to confess that the earlier shootings didn't affect me as deeply because they were "on the other side of town,"--i.e., south of the freeway.  it is scary and i am so, so sad for these kids who became targets--contrary to assumptions, most of the victims had no apparent gang affiliation.  

i don't really know what to do other than continue to be the best teacher that i can be.  i fervently pray that our schools will continue to be safe for our kids, and we can keep shaping their characters for the better.

--e.b.

Mercy

I saw a black-and-white in my rear view mirror yesterday and quickly looked at my speedometer - low 70's, on a 65 mph freeway. I changed lanes to my right (was exiting anyway) and felt immediate grace as the highway patrol car didn't follow. Almost instantaneously, my relief became annoyance that he wasn't pulling over any of the maniacs that were zipping by faster than me.

(favorite dad quote: "Anyone going slower than me is an idiot. Anyone going faster than me is a maniac.")

How quickly grace turns to condemnation.

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.^[a]

23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents^[b] was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii.^[c] He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Letter to Congresswoman Napolitano

Representative Napolitano,
I've been reading news of a tentative agreement on an economic stimulus plan that would come in the form of tax rebates for many Americans. I urge you to vote against such a plan, as I believe it to be short-sighted and potentially ineffective.

I would feel differently about this plan if our government were currently operating with a budget surplus, but due to the budget deficit, these tax rebates would have to be paid through borrowed money, which will further exacerbate future budget balancing attempts. In my mind, this is similar to a homeowner borrowing additional money against her house to pay for short-term needs, not realizing that this could cause her mortgage payments to jump to unaffordable levels at some point in the future. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Ho Yun

Tennis

Lessons:
1. Don't lift weights the night before playing.
2. Don't eat half of an old avocado on the way to tennis.
3. Don't take two months off between playing.

Or you'll feel like I do right now.

Aptera

Idealab's board members were around today for a meeting, so one of our companies, Aptera, took advantage of the opportunity to show off their new prototype electric vehicle, the Typ-1, which also meant that I got to see it in person for the first time. Didn't get a test drive, though. I guess that'll have to wait until next time. First, the pics:

One cool thing is that it's officially categorized as a motorcycle, which means you can use it in the carpool/HOV lanes while driving solo.

prayers of petition today

• safety of helen t. and fellow missionaries in kenya...also peace of mind and heart for helen's parents, who must be so worried.
• Lord, thy will be done--my mom's dear friend and mentor, mrs. h is very ill and may not survive.  we had just seen her this past holiday.  i can't think of anyone more deserving of hearing God say, "well done, good and faithful servant," but it's still very saddening.

prayer of thanksgiving:

• got to catch up a bit with my close college friend who is getting married this fall.  haven't gotten to meet the blessed fiance yet, but he sounds amazingly perfect for her.  God is so good!

paring down and giving more

the other day we looked at apartments with ho's parents and then did some window shopping in old town pasadena.  although ho and i have been married for three and a half years, we still own next to no furniture.  we made do with lots of borrowing and disposable ikea before moving into my in-laws' home, so we'll need to buy our first bed and couch when we decide on an apartment.  we also need a dining room set, although that can probably wait until we get a house. 

we saw lots of nice things yesterday, and it brought up in me the conflict of living simply in order to give strategically.  i wish that i could say that i would be fine with any old furniture, but the older i get, the more pottery barnified my taste becomes.  sure, we should get things that will last a long time, but does that rationalize paying premium prices?

somewhere in the last couple of years, i fear that i've lost my edge in my desire to live simply.  right now we're in the most financially "carefree" time that we probably will ever have with our DINK (double income, no kids) status.  it's kind of ridiculous how blessed we are.  i don't think we've been wasteful, but somehow we've gotten sort of lax...writing our tithe checks and supporting our missionaries and giving has become easier and easier.  this isn't the way i want it to be.

firstly, i know i need to be more involved in our finances/budgeting (this has long been on my to-do list, alas).  secondly, i want us to spend our (hard-earned!) money more thoughtfully and purposefully and joyfully.  the following quotations are sobering but inspiring for me, and i hope they'll give you food for thought as well.

“I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc., is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charitable expenditures excludes them.” — C.S. Lewis

(emphasis is mine.  what do i sacrifice in order to give more generously?)

And from John Piper (I think this is from Desiring God) --

God is not glorified when we keep for ourselves (no matter how thankfully) what we ought to be using to alleviate the misery of unevangelized, uneducated, and unfed millions. The evidence that many professing Christians have been deceived by this doctrine is how little they give and how much they own. God has prospered them. And by an almost irresistible law of consumer culture . . . they have bought bigger (and more) houses, newer (and more) cars, fancier (and more) clothes, better (and more) meat, and all manner of trinkets and gadgets and containers and devices and equipment to make life more fun. But what is specifically called for today is a wartime lifestyle. I mean a style of life that is unencumbered by nonessentials. I don't mean primitive 'simplicity.' I mean wartime effectiveness. . . . I mean a kind of Spartan commitment to maximize everything for the mission of the church. A glad-hearted Christian austerity that can see his imminent victory, and will make any sacrifice for the joy of being on the cutting edge of God's kingdom.

*************************

again, emphasis added by me.  i want to be on the cutting edge of God's kingdom.  that's the place to be.

--e.b.